I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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