I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
