i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
