At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I can't turn off my feet"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
