forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize