Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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