I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
