my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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