Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
