Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
