I met the friendliest cop last night
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize