Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
