I want to stick my p in your. b.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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