I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize