best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
