You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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