would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
