come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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