So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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