Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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