it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
