you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
