If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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