I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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