She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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