My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
