this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
