So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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