I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
