a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
