sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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