why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize