Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
