Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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