Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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