the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
