Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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