Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
