carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
