I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
