We're like a lot better than the average bears
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Randomize