meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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