Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I don't think brook has ever known best
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
