The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
