Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
