Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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