you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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