no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
