Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
