Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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