a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize