oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she smelled like a LAN party
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Boobs speak an international language.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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