I've blown a few things in my day
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
foreskin is a definite game changer
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
