he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
