No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
