My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
