and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
