And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
