If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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